The Intricacies of Flying Coach: Part II

5: Up in the Air (JFK–>LAX)

At 8:30PM (2 hours and 25 minutes after intended) the DL417 readies for take-off. The flight attendant, who just moments ago walked up the aisle chanting water (no fewer than a dozen audible times — water, water, water, water, water, water, water, water, water, water, water, water… (see, kind of annoying, right?)), collects cups and pretzel bags. I lift up the plastic window shade to my right; I like watching take-off.  Continue reading

The Intricacies of Flying Coach: Part 1


What you’re about to read is a fairly exhaustive account of my experience with Delta Airline’s DL417 flight from NYC–>LA–>Sydney, Australia. I’ve managed to fill about 50 college ruled notebook pages — just on the flight experience alone — which I am now culling through and editing for my writerly and your readerly pleasure. (Note: I tend to use a lot of parenthesis and footnotes — not to mention em-dashes; semicolons are often employed as well.)[1] So far, what I’ve read of my own account includes the following (in no particular order): a reference to a porn star, the ethnic makeup of JFK airport, self-sexual objectification, shake shack, gate changes, flight delays, a significantly pregnant woman, my ambivalence toward the fear of flying, and various death statistics (including the statistic of death wrought by falling vending machines) — oh and an allusion or two to travel-dildos… and that’s just my notebook’s first twenty pages. Consider yourself warned. Anyway, here it is: The Intricacies of Flying Coach: Part 1: Continue reading